The Hike Like A Woman Podcast
Hi, I'm Rebecca 👋 I'm a guide, ski instructor, Army Veteran, cancer survivor, and a big fan of adventure travel. I started HLAW in 2014 because I wanted to smash barriers to entry into the outdoors and help women explore. I'd love to have you join me on an adventure. Please reach out if you have any questions 📧 rebecca@hikelikeawoman.com
The Hike Like A Woman Podcast
Embracing the Traveler's Mindset in Daily Life with Kat Medina
Ever found yourself yearning for the joy and novelty of travel while stuck in the monotony of daily life? Kat Medina joins us this week to unpack the concept of "asshole autopilot," where our brains fall into an efficiency trap, causing us to miss the beauty in our routine surroundings. We discuss how to combat this by being present and grateful and how embracing the traveler's mindset can reignite a sense of adventure in our everyday experiences.
During our conversation, we confront the inner critic that so often sabotages our sense of productivity, especially poignant through the lens of pregnancy and parenthood. Kat Medina opens up about her journey of redefining what it means to be productive, sharing her strategies for keeping creativity alive in the face of self-doubt. We also discuss the power of changing environments and setting specific rules to help foster creativity, taking inspiration from thought leaders like Brené Brown.
In the final part of our episode, we delve into the essence of gratitude in our daily lives, reflecting on how to maintain a sense of awe and appreciation even when the excitement of travel fades. We also cover the complexities of parenthood, with Medina providing glimpses of her own experiences traveling with her baby. It's an episode that promises to shift your perspective and perhaps even change how you interact with the world around you, whether navigating the trials of parenthood or simply trying to inject a little 'Pura Vida' into your day-to-day. Join us for a journey through life's joys, challenges, and transformative moments with Kat Medina.
Learn more about Kat here: https://www.katmedina.com/
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Hey, it's Rebecca. Welcome back to the Hike Like Woman podcast. Originally, we restarted this podcast up because we wanted to interview women who were speaking at our virtual summit, but we had so much fun talking to women all over the world that we just decided to keep the podcast rolling, and that's why I'm excited today, because I get to introduce you to Kat Medina. Kat is a world traveler, she's a mom, she's an author and she's so much more than that, and you're going to love our conversation today because we talk about everything from traveling to experiencing gratitude, but in a non-phony look at me on Instagram way. So I won't keep talking. I will let you enjoy my conversation with Kat.
Speaker 2:All I had to do was really pinpoint what qualities made up that mindset of who I was when I was abroad and try to apply them to daily life. And so I set out on this mission to really figure out who I was, how I behaved, what I did differently as soon as my feet hit the tarmac in another country, and bring that back home. And so after I applied that to my life and got plenty of opportunities to practice, especially during the pandemic, I decided to write a book about it.
Speaker 1:So you wrote a book about applying how you felt when you were traveling to try to improve your life when you're not traveling? Did I get that correctly?
Speaker 2:Basically I realized like the big difference between who I was when I traveled and who I was at home you know best for best self versus home self was that when I was traveling I had a traveler's mindset and that allowed me to be open-hearted and see the humor and the mishaps and, you know, kind of see setbacks as part of the adventure and really tap into awe and wonder and the things that fill me up and light me up and make me feel joyful.
Speaker 2:And I wanted to bring that back home, which is where I kind of did the opposite of, you know, forcing things and, um, growing so accustomed to all of the gifts I have around me, like hot water or clean drinking water, easy access to gasoline from my car, even though I knew in so many of the places that I'd been and traveled to, these things were pretty rare and hard to come by and hard to come by, and so I really wanted to try to look at the world around me, even if it was someplace that I'd seen, you know, a thousand, a million times, and force myself to see it with fresh eyes that I could fully appreciate it.
Speaker 1:I'm I'm kind of visualizing two different worlds here and I'm wondering how come, when we come home from a big adventure, why do we lose that? What do you think? What changes in our brain from being able to be happy and joyful and grateful to coming home and feeling disappointed, discouraged, not satisfied and feeling disappointed, discouraged, not satisfied.
Speaker 2:I think, you know, most of us get a limited amount of time each year to take a vacation, to leave work, and it's especially in the U? S it's so limited, and so we look forward to that time off. And as soon as we get to our destination, it's kind of like all of our worries just dissolve and we're able to be um more open to spontaneity and um accepting the differences around us, instead of getting all butthurt because someone doesn't agree with what we think. And I think when we come back from that trip, we just we go into asshole autopilot. You know, work, make money, you're tired, you're caring for your family or yourself, going through the motions while looking forward to the next time you can feel free and alive again.
Speaker 2:And so I think it can feel a little disheartening when you come back into the routine of it all. It's that autopilot and it it's our brain just trying to do its job, which is be as efficient as possible, save energy, keep us safe, and it's amazing at it. The downside is it keeps us from seeing all these little gifts around us because we become used to them. Our brain goes, hey, that's not dangerous, let's just ignore it. And then you forget how amazing your life at home can actually be and to look at it as though you were on vacation somewhere that you've never been before.
Speaker 1:How do you do that Like, what's the, what are some tools or practices that we could apply to have that feeling when we're at home?
Speaker 2:So one of the big ones that I noticed for me that was really different from who I was at home versus abroad is when I was abroad I would be effortlessly open-hearted. At home I was more of an introvert and shy and also just pretty stuck in my routine and schedule so that I felt like I didn't have enough time to have a spontaneous conversation with someone. But I noticed that when I was traveling I was more open to talking with strangers not the creepy ones I try to avoid them, but just to be curious and get to know who these people are, what their lives are like, and try to bypass the awkwardness of small talk and get in deep pretty quick. And so one of the things that made the biggest difference for me was trying to be more present when I was out and about, and I luckily live in a awesome small town where when you go to the grocery store or the cafe or out to eat, people ask you what'd you do today that was fun, or what do you have planned, and they actually want to know.
Speaker 2:And it took a while to adjust to that, like before here I lived in a bigger city and it felt like everything was so rushed and like the question of like, how are you?
Speaker 2:You'd have to be like, good, have a good day. Bye, you know, here it's kind of like, well, I better have a good answer. I'm going to go on a hike today and just be outside, and you get to know people that way, and what I realized is by you know being present enough to have these conversations, putting down my phone when I'm waiting in line, you know, stopping the need or the urge to feel productive all the time and instead recognize that. You know, for me, one of the things that makes me feel really good and happy is if I can have a positive impact on those around me, and I used to think that was just by doing something really big, making a huge impact. And I've learned that the people who have the biggest impact on me are the ones who get to know me and make me smile and make me feel seen, and if I can do that for other people, that's a pretty big impact from a small action.
Speaker 1:So, trying to do that every day, you said something really interesting when you said you need to stop the urge to be productive all the time. And let's dive into that, because I feel like if I spend an hour sitting on the couch watching TV, sometimes I feel a little guilty, like I wasted that hour because I was not productive during that hour. Why do you think we feel like that?
Speaker 2:I think. Well, for me it's a lot of my upbringing, like my dad. My parents got divorced when I was young and my dad, who I did every other week with, was a high achiever and I've always been like an overachiever, just trying to meet goals and I felt like I found a lot of value in being productive. But when I was growing up, um, it was kind of taught to us, um subconsciously, that being resting was lazy and not being busy was bad. So I just remember, like growing up, if I heard my dad's car in the like come into the garage, if I was sitting on the couch I'd jump up and look busy, you know turn the TV off when the garage door opens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do homework or whatever, and it's been hard to unlearn that. It was forced on me when I was pregnant, um, because like it took me a while to get pregnant and then I had two losses and then when I finally got the, the one that stuck. With my first son I now have two Um, but it was kind of forced on me Like I wasn't able to be as I had no energy, I wasn't able to be as productive as I was used to, and so late pregnancy and then, after having a kid, I had to kind of reframe what productive meant and realize that rest is not lazy, it's necessary. Rest is not lazy, it's necessary. And I've kind of made it a choice to decide on rest over responsibility because truly that's the more responsible thing to do and I don't want to raise my kids to feel like they have to be constantly doing something to be offering value. So for me it was more like upbringing and also I saw huge rewards from being productive. You know there's perks to it.
Speaker 1:Sure Good jobs. Good yeah, it's. Uh, yeah, definitely. Um, you talked about your children and um you did. You wrote the book when you were pregnant or did you publish it when you were pregnant?
Speaker 2:I published it after my first was born, so within I had written it and was working on editing it when he was born and then finished editing and published after he was born, within his first year. And right now, with two I have, he's almost three and then an eight month old and I'm like how did I do that?
Speaker 1:I have no idea. That's amazing. So it's people authors frequently talk about, like birthing a book out into the world and you gave birth like three times in three years so no big deal, just kind of a badass there. Yeah, what was the? What was the like, the, the spark that that ignited, that inspired you to write the book? Was there a particular um experience you had, maybe on a travel, or was it just coming home and realizing like, I want to keep this, I want to keep this, I want to keep this energy so.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:I have always wanted to write a book and I tried and then stopped multiple times. Yeah, just whenever I tried, inner critic would step in and I'd be like, ah, this just isn't working. And then, a couple of years ago, I just decided I want to do this before I die, and why not now? And how can I make this fun and something that I can commit to? And it was December when I decided on this and I was like, okay, starting the first of the year, once a week I'm going to go into a cafe and write for an hour.
Speaker 2:And the rules are, uh, no editing it. So I had to silence that inner critic. And the second rule was I had to go for at least an hour, no matter what, and make the investment of getting a cappuccino, which before I'd be like no, no, like I can make coffee at home cheaper. And but I realized like one of the things I loved about traveling was just going to a cafe and drinking like a cap, a cappuccino or a latte out of a ceramic mug and just kind of taking in that ambience.
Speaker 2:But I never did that at home, so I was like make it fun by forcing me myself to go here yeah, the five bucks, and I had to go there. I had to sit there with my computer. Whether or not I wrote was up to me, but I couldn't do anything else. And so when I kind of forced myself into it with those rules, it became a habit and then I was able to finish it with the first draft within about seven months. And then there was like multiple editing processes and all that, but it it really helps just making it so that I had no choice.
Speaker 1:And creating a system, a routine. It just became part of your schedule. I love that. I find that when I can remove myself from like put myself in a different environment to work, I'm super productive. And the other day I had a doctor's appointment in a neighboring town and so I brought my laptop and I said I'm going to just go to my appointment and then I'm just going to go to a new library and I'm going to just sit in that library and work, and I got so much done just in that hour that I was not surrounded by all the distractions that are typically around.
Speaker 1:You said something about your inner critic and learning to calm your inner, your inner critic, or not listen to your inner critic. How have you dealt with that? Because I have. I haven't written a book, but I think just putting ourselves out there on social media or like YouTube, blog, whatever, writing a book. There are so many critics out there who are watching us on a regular basis and personally I have found that I'm my worst critic and I'm watching one of our YouTube videos and I'm the one picking myself apart. It's not necessarily the people in the comments. So what are some strategies that you have used to just tell yourself stop criticizing me for putting myself out there.
Speaker 2:I agree completely. I think that the biggest critic that I face is myself generally. One of the things that helped me so much was actually listening to one of Brene Brown's talks where she goes in depth about the man in the arena. Yeah, it really resonated with me and I don't know I can give you the link to the particular video that I watched. It's like 20 minutes long and, honestly, before any talk that I'm giving or anything big where I need to show up, I listened to that as I'm getting ready in the morning and it just reminds me that like, yeah, this life is short and fuck the haters and, um, I, I think I don't want to look back with regret, and my biggest regrets come from me holding myself back versus doing things and then being embarrassed by it, which happens.
Speaker 2:But the greater one, it's something that I'm not doing because I'm scared of how I'm going to show up. Usually, I try to seek out these moments where I'm a little bit scared and a little bit excited and I feel like when I can find that opportunity, it means I need to say yes because it's going to kind of catapult me further on my path of where I'm meant to be growth wise and what I'm meant to do, and just kind of look out for those little things where it kind of scares me. And a lot of times the thing that scares me is how it's going to be perceived and just realizing that you know what the people who have a problem with it? Usually they might just be unhappy that they aren't pushing themselves or taking it out on the person who is. But in that that quote, it's not the critic who counts, is's the one who's in the arena yeah, I was.
Speaker 1:I was just gonna say they're not in the arena with you. They're looking in the in the stands, but they're, they're not in the fight. Yeah, yeah, I think it is it. I think it's daring greatly. I think that's one of her TED talks. Yeah, and she talks about, uh, reading all the negative comments she got from one of her TED Talks and then like going into eating peanut butter and discovering that quote. Yeah, that's a great. Yeah, I love Brene Brown. We'll link to it, for sure, in the comments below. Yeah, it's hard to silence the inner critic and instead be like you did it. You're there. I'm proud of you, rebecca. I'm proud of you Kat, because you're putting yourself out there. So let's kind of wrap it up with a nice little bow and go back to travel and your book.
Speaker 1:So I'm headed to Costa Rica on Sunday. I'll be there for a whole week. What can I do? And I, you know I love Costa Rica because it's just laid back. It's so pretty, the food's so good, our guides that we go with are amazing. When I come back from Costa Rica, in, you know, a little over a week, and I'm I'm just feeling all these good vibes. But when I come back and I opened my inbox and I see 200 unread mass messages and I come home to a you know, I don't know, I don't know, and you know. You come home to all the things that haven't gotten done in a week. How can I not be an a-hole and how can I continue with that? Pura Vida, how can I have that follow me?
Speaker 2:home. So a couple of things that I do is to swap expectations for appreciation and I notice whenever I'm getting into expectation mode there's a hint of disappointment and trying to seek out the win in the failure or the win in the little annoyances that are part of daily life, and forcing yourself to look for gifts and hidden moments of awe and wonder that usually are just beneath the surface of whatever we're looking at. And I think one of the challenges is that nowadays there's so much grasping for our attention, you know, and we have it like access to entertainment at the tips of our fingers, so much so that boredom is rare and there's a lot of benefit to. Boredom is kind of the gateway to creativity and imagination and curiosity and wonder, and you have to sit with that discomfort in order to get through to that. And I think that when we travel, when we're on a trip, we kind of seek out those moments and are more open to them, but then when we get home we just think that we've seen it all, so we don't bother looking for it, but trying to make it a practice of noticing something you haven't seen before, that you forgot about.
Speaker 2:An example is just like when there's a big storm where I live and the roads are icy and covered in snow, it's like I go out on a walk with my dog with the intention of experiencing awe, and on those days it's really easy because, like, I am lucky with where I live, because it's beautiful, yeah, just pausing long enough to look down at the ice and how it kind of crystallizes and makes these crazy shapes and having kids is helpful with that, because they are seeing it for the first time and they're like look at this rock, and you're like that's a rock. But then you look more closely and you stop rushing and you take it in and you go, wow, that is really cool. And I think it's kind of rooted in gratitude for what's around you is one of the biggest hacks for keeping that traveler's mindset when you're at home.
Speaker 1:And the other thing is, when these problems arrive in daily life, to choose to kind of live by the phrase that life is happening for you and not to you, because even though I've faced some challenges in life and setbacks, it's led me to where I am here, maybe a little beaten up, but you know stronger and having had grown from it, and so you have to kind of be grateful for the difficulties too, and there's a theme that keeps coming back, kat, and that is the theme of gratitude, and I love that because it's so introspective to be like I just went on this amazing vacation and now I'm back home and now I have to do all these things and I have all this dirty laundry and I have all this, all this, all of this, but to be grateful to have had that experience and then also grateful to be home and to see it from a different perspective, that's super powerful. That is extremely powerful. So I'm going to try to take that with me and I'll report back to you and let you know how it goes. That's, that's so cool.
Speaker 1:Um, kat, where can we find you online? Where can we learn about what you do? Where can we get your?
Speaker 2:book Uh, online. I'm pretty active on Instagram sometimes. Kat Medina writer Uh, my website's katmedinacom, and I have a, you know, a monthly newsletter that I send out, just with five tips to experience more joy and also the free seven-day challenge to overcome the most common joy blockers that people face in daily life. Just like seven simple emails. And then books available. Most places you can find books, you know, amazon, barnes, noble. You can always request it from your local indie bookstore, which I highly recommend, and, yeah, it's. You can find me online. Cat with a K.
Speaker 1:Where's your next big? What's your next big adventure? Like parenthood, You've written the book. You've traveled around the world. What's next?
Speaker 2:So I'm working on planning a trip in August to Norway, but I actually just got back from a really big adventure where I took just my eight month old baby who was six months at the time on a solo trip to Czech Republic and Germany.
Speaker 1:Whoa, that's awesome. That's awesome. I haven't been to Norway. I've been to lots of parts of Scandinavia, but I this is a fun fact I took Norwegian in wow because I thought it would be fun to learn Norwegian. It's a really hard language, but all I remember is Jai har ikapanger, and that means I don't have any money. So fun fact Jai har ikapanger is is is important phrase to know when you travel to.
Speaker 2:Norway. Yeah, usually my go-to is where's the bathroom?
Speaker 1:but maybe I'll learn that one too. I don't have any money. Maybe you can get like, maybe you can get a free cappuccino, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I used to just try to default to gratitude uh, almost, you know, just choosing the optimistic, overly positive route, without accepting that things can be both. And so when I bring up gratitude a lot, it's not to say that I'm just like the most positive, appreciative person ever, like I lose my shit all the time, and it's just a practice of recognizing that things can be hard but they can also be good, and recognizing that most things in life are two polar opposites at once, and I'm learning that I feel like growing up, I just learned that I could be one emotion at one time, or a couple similar emotions at once, and what I'm learning over and over again is that you can be two polar opposite things at the exact same time. That's part of being human and it's not just about only focusing on the positive quote, unquote positive emotions, but recognizing that like an example, I was just talking about parenthood. Right now, I feel so grateful, after trying so hard, for the family that I have. I feel so grateful, after trying so hard for the family that I have, that I have it.
Speaker 2:And in these moments where I'm kind of overcome by that, sometimes there's this hint of like sadness and I'm like this is odd like usually, when I'm grateful, joy is there, but right now I'm grateful and I'm sad, and I think it's because I can see time just slipping through my fingertips. And so, instead of trying to just push away that sadness and be like, oh, I don't want to feel that because this moment is so great right now, it's to acknowledge that it's both at once and that's part of being human and not trying to resist it or let it go, which is what I used to think you should do is just let it go. I don't know how to do that. I tried it's. It's actually more of an intention of accepting it as it is. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I read the book. Oh, what is the book called? Um, it will come to me once we hang up, but but it's all about just kind of being at peace with where you are. I used to be like, oh, this is not the life I chose, right, but it's the life I have, mm-hmm, and so I don't have to like accept the crappy parts about it. I can work hard to make those parts better. But yeah, just an interesting, interesting comment. And it's not like this fake face, that's just.
Speaker 1:I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful. Look at me on social media. I'm so grateful. Look at my positivity. Look at me, I'm so grateful. No, it's deeper. It's much deeper than that. So good, so good. Thanks so much for being here. I appreciate you tuning into our podcast, watching the show on our YouTube channel. If you want to learn more about what we do here at Hike Like a Woman, go ahead and head over to our website, hikelikewomancom. If you have a story that you'd like to share on our podcast, we're totally up to talk to anyone who's cool, so hit me up. You can find me high at hikelikeawomancom. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll catch you next time. Bye, bye.